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Writer's pictureTom Philp, LPC, CEO

"Have I Been Gaslit?" Recognizing the Signs & Seeking Healing



What Is Gaslighting?


Gaslighting in relationships is a deeply harmful form of emotional and psychological manipulation, where one person seeks to undermine another's reality.


It can cause victims to doubt their perceptions, memories, and sanity, leaving lasting scars on their emotional well-being.


The term originated from a British play called Gas Light, where one spouse manipulates the other into believing they’re losing their mind.


Despite its prevalence, many people struggle to recognize when they're being gaslit, making it all the more insidious.


Let's look at what gaslighting entails, how to identify it, and steps to heal from its effects.



Gaslighting Can Manifest In Various Ways



- Denying reality: The gaslighter may deny events or conversations that have taken place, causing the victim to question their memory.


- Minimizing feelings: They may trivialize the victim's emotions, making them feel irrational or oversensitive.


- Blaming: Gaslighters often shift blame onto the victim, making them feel responsible for problems in the relationship.


- Withholding: They may withhold information or affection to maintain control and power over the victim.



How Do You Recognize Gaslighting In Relationships?



Gaslighting can occur in any type of relationship, whether romantic, familial, or professional. Here are some common signs to watch out for:


~ Constant Doubt: If you find yourself constantly doubting your own thoughts, feelings, or experiences due to your partner's influence, it could be a red flag. Victims of gaslighting often experience a loss of self-confidence and self-esteem, second-guessing themselves, at every turn.

 

~ Feeling Confused: Gaslighting often leaves victims feeling confused or disoriented, unsure of what's real and what's not.


~ Isolation: Gaslighters may isolate their victims from friends and family, making them more dependent on the gaslighter's version of reality.


~ Emotional Exhaustion: Gaslighting takes a toll on emotional well-being, leaving victims feeling drained and depleted.



How Do You Heal from Gaslighting?



Recovering from gaslighting can be a challenging journey, but it's essential for reclaiming your sense of self-worth and autonomy. Here are some steps you can take:


1.Educate Yourself: Understanding the dynamics of gaslighting is the first step toward healing. Research and educate yourself about gaslighting behaviors and how they impact relationships.


2. Trust Your Instincts: Learn to trust your instincts and intuition again. Remind yourself that your feelings and experiences are valid, regardless of what the gaslighter may say.


3. Practice Self-Care: Engage in self-care activities that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Whether it's meditation, exercise, or creative expression, prioritize activities that bring you joy and peace.


4. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the gaslighter to protect yourself from further manipulation. Communicate your needs assertively and don't compromise on your values.


5. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. Surround yourself with people who validate your experiences and provide a safe space for you to heal.



In conclusion, gaslighting in relationships is a serious issue that can have devastating effects on victims. 


By understanding the signs of gaslighting and taking proactive steps to heal, you can break free from the cycle of manipulation and reclaim your sense of self. 


Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.


****


- Tom Philp, LPC & CEO Stonebridge Couples

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